Star Trek Humour

Earlier this week I read a pretty funny Star Trek joke.  I don't know how long it's been around, but it was the first time I'd heard it.  It was in an article in Car & Driver or Motortrend, can't remember which.  It went something like this:

"[...] as sure as Captain Kirk has three ears, the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear."

The (Totally) Phantom Menace

:o)



Found on "One Cool Thing a Day".

PS3 NHL12

NHL 12 for PS3 has been out for a while, now, and while there have been a some neat improvements, I have to say that despite the improvements over all NHL12 has been more frustrating than NHL11, and not in a good way.

Why is it frustrating (other than the fact that it's too difficult/slow to earn xp as a goalie -- that hasn't really changed from previous iterations)?  In my case, at least, NHL12 for the PS3 has the nasty habit of locking up mid-game, for no rhyme or reason that I can determine.  It doesn't lock up all the time, but just often enough for me that I've put NHL12 on the shelf.

A shame, really, because without this issue NHL12 may have been the best iteration, yet.

A few random proposals for NHL13:

• Fix the bug with the volume settings.  Every time I load a save file the menu volume settings are reset to default.  Annoying.
• Get rid of the Verizon (gag) advertising at the start of every BAP game.  Annoying redux.  Even if I were living in the U.S. (where Verizon is located), which I'm not, this unwanted intrusion of an undesired telecom into my home would make me less likely to become their customer.  At the very least, get rid of the vocal.  Ugh.
• Even if I decide to start a career in the WHL/CHL, I'd still like the option of choosing which team drafts my BAP player.

Darth Vader Meets Volkswagen

This has to be one of the funniest commercials I've ever seen.

PS3: F1 2010 Update

Update to an earlier post about F1 2010 for the PS3.  I don't know if it can be called a proper bug since it appears to be an AI issue, but it's definitely something that's aggravating.

I've observed consistently that although I'm the first to pit, the crew member with the lollipop is too slow and/or conservative.  I'm inevitably left waiting, pit stop complete, for several seconds as 3-4 cars pass me on the pit lane before the lollipop guy releases me. The only time this doesn't happen is when I'm the only car pitting that lap.

I hope this is something that can and will be patched.

PS3: F1 2010

Despite my initial plan to delay purchasing F1 2010 for the PS3 I ended up buying it the day after it was released.  The previews and early reviews were reasonable, and I had always wanted a decent Formula One game.

I hope F1 2010 sells well in North America, though I get the impression that stores don't expect it to.  The Best Buy location I went to told me they only received six copies.  Six copies on the day of release.  I don't know how that compares to other new releases, but to me that sounds like Best Buy doesn't expect very much demand.   A shame, really, because I think F1 2010 is pretty good and worth its price.

I've been playing career mode on the easiest setting, though when I get more races under my belt I might try turning off some of the driving aids.  In career mode you start off as a new F1 driver for one of the three new F1 teams in 2010, and can last for up to 7 seasons, which is quite a lot if you play the full race weekend (3 practice sessions, 3 qualifying sessions, race day) for all 19 races per season, and especially if you drive the full-length race.

Practice sessions are quite useful for familiarizing yourself with the track and testing different vehicle set-ups, if you want.  The number of changes you can make in regards to set-up is quite daunting, but the game does offer a couple "quick" set-ups you can use.

The short term objective is to out perform your team mate and take his position as number one driver.  Different teams have different objectives.  A team like Ferrari, for example, has much different expectations than a team like Virgin Racing.  As your career progresses, you may receive contract offers from other teams.

Anywhoo, back to the racing.  I liked it a lot.  As I said, I haven't tried turning off any driving aids, yet, but I was surprised by how much time I spent driving in practice sessions.  It's all too easy to get sucked in by "just one more lap" in order to improve your time.   Sometimes I was only able to stop because I didn't want to wear down my limited number of engines (according to official F1 regulations, you only get 8 engines per season).

The sense of speed and driving feels very good, and the graphics are amazing.  I had one qualifying session in the rain and it looked spectacular.  I have a simple two speaker set up and it still sounds great.  You can distinguish between engine sounds in front or from the car approaching behind you.

Off the track you deal with the occasional media interview.  It's neat and immerses you in the life of a F1 driver, but it's still relatively simplistic.  You have three possible answers for each question, and it's fairly obvious which choices would make your team happy, or not.

Random thoughts:

• On the track the only voice you hear is that of your race engineer, as he comments on tire/engine temperature, or what other racers are doing, when to pit.  I like it.  Having television commentary would be distracting.
• If something catastrophic (or not) happens on track, you have a limited number of chances to have a "do over", resuming play from shortly before your spin-out or what ever.  Of course, you can always restart an entire session from the beginning, but if you've already played 40+ laps in a 49-lap race that may not be your first choice.
• The sound set up options was a little odd.  In the manual it describes a "two speaker" setting, but in-game the only option I had was "headphones"-- which still sounds great coming out of my two speakers, but still... odd.
• The driving HUD could use some improvement.  It displays drivers' lap times, but equally useful, or even more so, would be how many seconds behind or ahead you are in relation to the drivers around you.  It's distracting trying to chase down the position ahead of you when you don't know how many seconds ahead he is, or how many seconds the driver immediately behind you is.
• Your race engineer isn't perfect.  In the beginning he would always say my team mate was faster so I should check his set-up.  First, the engineer would say this even when it wasn't true.  Second, as far as I can find there is no way to see what your team mate's set-up actually is.
• In the paddock you can see how fast you and other drivers are lapping through each sector of the track.  However, it only shows the times from the most current/recent lap.   This is annoying because I can never see my time for the 3rd sector because, of course, on my most recent lap I have to pit to enter the paddock, which is prior to finishing the 3rd sector.  So all I see for sector 3 is a blank space and there's no way to determine how it compares to other drivers' sector 3, or how much time I'm losing/gaining there.
• Another curious thing.  I was able to change my car set-up after final qualification and before the race -- something I'd always thought against official F1 rules.  I wonder if the non-player teams are able to do the same, because if not then that may explain why I suddenly had a competitive car on race day (I was able to change from a wet set-up during final qualification to a dry set-up for the race).
• I wonder if the game deliberately makes your team mate a poor driver to make it easier for the player.  So far my team mate has consistently been near or at the bottom of the time sheets.  Perhaps it's just the nature of the driver/team I'm currently on, or that I'm playing the easy setting.

PS3: NHL 11

I'm still debating whether NHL 11 for the PS3 is worth purchasing.  So far NHL 11 is
definitely an improvement over NHL 10, but is it enough of an improvement to merit its
price?  In my case, I'd have to say "yes", but not by much.

NHL 11 addresses and fixes some issues I've mentioned before that irritated me with NHL
10.  I've only started NHL 11, recently, so it's still wait and see for some longer term
issues, but here's what has been immediately noticeable (to me) in NHL 11, both good and
bad, compared to NHL 10.

• The garish, colour-blind and ugly upgrade equipment is gone in NHL 11.  You can still earn and use boosts to your player's attributes, but the terribly awful-looking equipment in NHL 10 is no where to be found in NHL 11, thank the hockey gods.
• It remains to be seen whether NHL 11 fixed the bug where unlocked attribute boosts spontaneously re-locked.  This next point requires some context.  One of the selling points EA Sports has been pushing strongly, to convince NHL 10 owners that it's still worth purchasing NHL 11, is a new physics engine.  I won't get in to too much detail here other than to say that it does make the game look more interesting and realistic, perhaps most noticeable with body checks.  My issue is that it feels like EA Sports has fell a little too much in love with it.  What do I mean?  Well, during stops in play the game plays short video replays of recent on ice action.  Theoretically this is a good idea, though even in NHL 10 the game often didn't show the play I actually wanted to see.  In NHL 11 it's even worse.  NHL 11 just loooves to replay body checks.  Goalie just make a save that necessitated a face-off?  Forget replaying that.  Replay a body check.
• Also on the naughty list:  home goalie make a spectacular glove save?  Instead of playing that, let's see a video of the other goalie drinking out of his water bottle.
• NHL 11 has shortened the video where you watch your player skate on to the ice prior to the start of each game.  I miss the longer version in NHL 10.  If you didn't want to watch it you could end it at any time by pressing a button so I'm not sure why they decided to short change it.
• NHL 11 has stopped providing the seating capacity and name of the arena prior to each game.  Not a biggie, but something I appreciated in NHL 10.
• I've just started a career as a goalie in Be a Pro mode and I'm already wondering what the GM AI has been smoking.  After a 4-0 record in the pre-season, with a save percentage of 0.947, 2 SO, and a 0.500 GAA, what does the GM say to McLean?  "The only reason you're not going down to the AHL is because you were drafted 9th overall".  Eh?
• It's early days in the season, but I'm already worried McLean's Wild won't even make the playoffs.  Why?  Because to date the Wild have never managed to win a game McLean did not start, and the Wild coach insists on giving Backstrom, who has yet to win a game and has much poorer stats than McLean (in NHL11, obviously), the majority of starts.

UPDATE 2:  Over-reaction over.  With calm, clear mind, I realized my issue with the inability to turn off the auto-save feature is easily solved.  Start with two game saves pre-draft.  Take saved game #1 through the draft.  If I get drafted by one of my unacceptable teams, then quit the game and load saved game #2.  Save over saved game #1.  Then take saved game #1 through the draft again.  Repeat as necessary.

This way saved game #2 is always maintained at the pre-draft point.  Once I load saved game #2, it's critical to remember to save over saved game #1 before going through the draft.  Else the auto-save will re-write over #2 and I'd no longer have a save point prior to the draft.


UPDATE: I've just discovered what I think is a major disappointment with NHL11.  Unlike NHL10, in NHL11 apparently there's no way to turn off the auto-save feature.  Majorly frustrating.  In my futile search for method to turn it off, I read in some forums that EA Sports did this to prevent cheating of some kind for online play.  I never play online so I can't confirm it, but it sounds reasonable.

Unfortunately, this inability to turn auto-save off is a source of major irritation for someone like me who doesn't play online.  I would like the ability to re-do drafts in Be a Pro mode just in case my player gets drafted by a team I out right refuse to play for.  The way NHL11 is set up now, any save game prior to the draft is automatically overwritten with post-draft data.  Ugh.  I really do not want to have to play through the Memorial Cup tournament over and over again just because I get drafted by one of the handful of NHL teams I dislike.  Which just happened, now.  Ugh. 

I'm going to put NHL11 back on the shelf until I recover from the frustration.  What a waste of my time.

Swagger Wagon

Minivans have never been cooler:

Original Star Wars Trilogy Told in 2 Minutes using Lego

This stop-motion Lego animation is pretty impressive. It recaps the original (and best) Star Wars trilogy.

Hamilton's Misnomer?

When I moved to the Land of Tim Hortons I found it somewhat confusing, direction wise.

The place I'm looking for is on the mountain? What mountain? I don't see a mountain.

I learned that Hamilton is typically divided in two, "The mountain" and downtown. The latter is next to Lake Ontario with the former adjacent to the south. Perhaps it's because I grew up in B.C. with the Rocky Mountains, but there's no way no how I'm ever going to call Hamilton's mountain "The mountain."

Of course the Rockies are geological youths, and not all mountains appear like the Rockies. Still, "The mountain" at best is a plateau. There's an escarpment, and then it's flat. F-L-A-T.

Perhaps at one time it was a real mountain and 90% of it was carved off for city development and expansion. I don't know. But as only a recent resident of the Land of Tim Hortons I'd feel silly describing it as one.

Lego Matrix

Found these youtube videos posted on /Film. The filmers recreated the roof-top bullet-time scene from the original Matrix, using Lego. 440 hours to film 1 minute 24 seconds.



This second video is a side by side comparison of the original with the Lego Matrix version:

PS3: Playstation Network

I've never used my PS3 to browse the web or purchase anything, but recently I inadvertently discovered what I consider to be a major bug in how Playstation Network accounts are managed. I say 'bug' but I suspect it's intentional, another example of some proprietary protection overkill by Sony.

What am I talking about? I purchased my PS3 when I was living in the United States so when I set up my PS3 user account I used my U.S. address. Now having relocated to Canada, I recently tried to update my information -- inexplicably, I am unable to update my address because Sony doesn't allow you to update the country of residence. Eh!?

After some cursory research, as far as I can gather Sony - unlike Nintendo with Nintendo Club - has no intention whatsoever of changing this policy.

Hmm... any work arounds? First I tried creating a new account/user with my current Canadian address. This worked fine. I could then transfer all my save games to my new user and delete the old account, right?

Not quite.

In this case a little paranoia paid off. Fortunately, prior to deleting my old account I decided to verify that I could use the save games with my new account. Kudos to Valkyria Chronicles, Assassin's Creed, Fallout 3, and Oblivion for letting gamers do this. A big disgusted boo to EA Sports NHL10 for not.

So... in order to not lose three completed seasons and the start of a fourth in NHL10 Be A Pro, I am forced to keep two user accounts on my PS3, one with my current address in Canada and the other with my previous address in the United States. Not a major fiasco by far, but definitely a major irritation for someone who very much prefers to avoid opening multiple accounts to the same service.

Anywhoo, I find myself blaming Sony more than EA Sports. All this hassle could have been easily avoided if Sony merely allowed people to update their country of residence.

I can only assume Sony designed it this way because different countries/regions have access to different content on the PS3, and Sony doesn't want PS3 owners changing their country of residence willy-nilly in order to access other regions' content.

Which is odd when I think about it, because I'd have thought more people purchasing downloads would result in more money for Sony. It's also odd because it seems a very crude and inadequate method. People can still create as many PS3 user accounts with international addresses as they have e-mail addresses.

This oddness, then, begs the question, "What's the point?" The only answer I can come up with is that this is merely another example of Sony being anal.

PS3: NHL10 as Therapy

Normally after watching the Vancouver Canucks lose I don't want to even think about hockey, at least not until the disappointment fades away. So I wouldn't have thought playing NHL10 right after was in the cards. It doesn't turn out that way, however. It's especially after a Canucks' loss that I need to sit down and play NHL10 to ease my wounded soul.

PS3: NHL 10, Part III

Another bug has made its appearance in NHL 10 for the PS3. Twice, perhaps thrice, now, in the middle of a game the graphics have gone all Cubist. Sound effects, announcers, the game goes on except that it's impossible to see anything. Fortunately, it's an easy fix. Hit the pause/start button to open the game menu and go to instant replay to refresh the screen. Resume game and you're good to go.

PS3: NHL 10, Part II

Well, looks like there's a fairly significant bug in NHL 10 for the PS3. I'm not referring to the AI, which as always can still use some improvement, but to something I consider relatively easier to solve and as such even more disappointing.

One of the changes with NHL 10 over NHL 09, and one of NHL 10's advertised selling points, was the inclusion of unlockable player equipment upgrades (pads, sticks, helmets, etc.) that boost your player's stats in various categories. I was initially resistant to equipping these items once they were unlocked but I soon overcame my disgust with the often ugly designs and always ill-matched colours.

What's the problem, then? As soon as my Be A Pro goalie won 25 games all the previously unlocked equipment returned to their initial locked and unusable status. What's up with that? That this issue is something I would think easily caught in any reasonable quality control regime just makes it all the more disappointing.

Oh well. At least my goalie no longer has to pretend to be colour blind.

PS3: NHL 10

I wasn't sure if I should buy NHL '10 for the PS3 as all I read stated that NHL '10 wasn't a drastic improvement over NHL '09. The inclusion of a "Be a GM" mode doesn't immediately appeal to me, and including 'board play' doesn't do too much for me as I tend to play goal in "Be a Pro" mode -- thankfully retained for NHL '10.

Anywhoo, I purchased NHL '10 mentally prepared to admit it was a waste of my money; not because it's a bad game, far from it, but NHL '09 is already a great game so why bother with a minor upgrade?

To my delight my fears were misplaced. The fact that NHL '10 fixes several minor annoyances with NHL '09 makes buying NHL '10 worthwhile in itself. I say minor annoyances, but really as a person who likes to play goal they more often than not were quite irritating and detracted from NHL '09.

The most notable fixes are with the announcers. One, announcers in NHL '10 no longer describe a defenseman's own goal as the result of an amazing shot by the opposing team or as the poor play of the goalie. In NHL '09 the incongruity between the announcers' words and my emotions resulted in even more aggravation. No longer in NHL '10. Second, in NHL '09 injuries in-game were virtually ignored. I might see a player on the ice during play, but all too frequently a very brief close-up of the injured player was too brief to identify before play resumed. It's not like I know the jersey number of every single player on every single team. Of course, that's when the game even bothered to show the injury clip. I'd have no idea which player was injured or whether he was out for the duration. Thankfully, in NHL '10 this is remedied. The injury clip is enough to identify the player, and afterward the announcers even say whether the player will be returning. Nice.

Descriptions of breakaways in NHL '09 were a tad too inclusive. The announcers would describe a rebound as a breakaway. Stationary, open players and one-timers were too often called breakaways, as well. To date, none of that has cropped up in NHL '10.

In NHL '09, I'd always been disappointed that the game didn't provide some pre-game information on the opposing team, beyond the current win-loss record. No more in NHL '10. NHL '10 summarizes information like starting line ups, goalies, and stat summaries like PP, GF and GA.

Goalie animations have been added to in NHL '10, and there's much more manual control available. Overall an improvement, and it will even be more of an improvement when my use of the new controls becomes more automatic.

"Be a Pro" mode has been updated. My Be a Pro goalie had the option to play a prospect game prior to draft day to help determine draft position. Neat. Unfortunately, this leads to a minor annoyance with NHL '10. My goalie played well enough in the prospect game to be 1st pick on draft day. Huzzah! Too bad in the player stats page for my goalie under "Draft position" it still says "N/A". Eh?

Random points:

• GM and coach updates could be more timely. I went from the prospect game, the draft, contract, then directly to my 1st NHL game. What happened to the AHL? It was only after I finished the 1st game that the GM thoughtfully informed me that they were having me play in the bigs first prior to deciding whether I neeeded seasoning in the AHL. The coach didn't talk to me until after my 1st NHL game, too.
  
• In NHL '09 I thought goalie post-game evaluation was too tough. The game appeared to penalize goalie "grades" for circumstances not under the goalie's control. Poor grades adversely affect his number of starts. NHL '10 looks to have remedied this. A goalie can play well but still lose the game, and NHL '10 recognizes this. I might get fewer XP, but at least my grade average stays up and won't negatively impact my number of starts.
• I was leary of loading the game multiple times until being drafted by the Vancouver Canucks. I still have no idea if Luongo's 12-year deal made it into NHL '10. Oh well, if Luongo's still with the Canucks after my 3-yr, $0.85M entry contract expires perhaps I'll consider other teams.
• I wish in Be a Pro mode the game allowed you to see what the players' current contracts are.
• NHL '10 does a nice job with playable injury graphics. Demitra played with a fractured jaw for a couple games and you could see the additional plastic guard he wore for added protection.
  

PS3: Assassins Creed

I've always read good things about Assassins Creed for the PS3, so when I saw it at Best Buy for $30 I decided to pick it up. It's definitely worth $30, but I'm glad I didn't buy it for $50-60 when it was first released.

It's not that the game is poor; the game is quite good, actually. The story is interesting, the graphics and music are wonderful. Assassins Creed, unfortunately, has some fairly significant drawbacks in addition to all its positives.

The first issue... interesting story, I said, which is totally true. It left me wanting to learn the fate of Desmond (the character you play, and in an obvious lead-up for a sequel). Unfortunately, the game's in-story scientific premise sounded like just so much nonsense. Past memories inherited via genes? Lamarckism at work? Uh, no.

Gameplay was also another issue. Most of the time it was fine, but when moving quickly, ie. running from guards, it often became a headache. The automatic movement of the camera angle made controlling the character difficult, and gave me headaches requiring frequent breaks. The moving camera angle would obstruct my view of what I really wanted to see, and depending on where the character stood in relation to other objects difficult if not impossible to fix.

Assassins Creed is also short. Very short. Extrememly short. But ironically, its shortness turned out to be a mixed blessing; the missions quickly became quite repetitive and tedious so in part I was relieved the game was finished so quickly.

In-game beggars and crazy people? -- I really wish they wouldn't respawn, the latter more than the former. I have to admit the urge to break one of the assassins' rules regarding innocents was sometimes too much for me to resist.

I give Assassins Creed for the PS3 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Animated Short: Alarm

Found this posted at /Film. Funny! 9 min. Click for details.

NHL09: another bug

I've discovered two new related bugs in NHL09 for the Playstation 3. It's happened to me three times, now, and it's very irritating. If goalie McLean wins in a shoot-out it's not added to his win total statistically. eg. 37 games played, 36 wins, 0 losses. To rub even more salt in the wound, if McLean earns a shut-out -- in regulation, in OT, and in the shoot-out -- it isn't added to his career SO total.

Wangos.

PS3 NHL09: Success in Net

Playing goalie is finally fun in NHL09. It's probably taken me much longer than most, but with #30 Kirk McLean (ver. 3.0) I've finally realized success and ended the endless frustration. Having said that, gaining goalie xp is still agonizingly slow.

McLean 3.0 has a GAA of 1.40 and save percentage of 96.7. McLean 3.0 is a hybrid and glove-left -- though I doubt these changes are the main reason for his marked improvement.

After each game your goalie is graded in three areas: Positioning, Team Play, and Statistics. The better your grades the more xp you gain and the more starts you get.

Positioning is simple... A+ all the way. Accomplishing this is easy since a blue arrow indicates the direction and distance of the puck making positioning just a matter of centering your goalie on the arrow. Back to the arrow later.

Team play for a goalie, for me, varies from game to game. As far as I can tell success in this area depends entirely on whether or not you pass the puck at appropriate times, with team mates conveniently telling you to freeze or play the puck as the situation warrants. Unfortunately, often when they tell me to pass the puck I think they're crazy. So... some games Team Play is better than others. If could figure out how to leave my net as far as computer controlled goalies can I might be more consistent in this category.

Statistics is stopping the puck, and the area I had been having headaches with. In retrospect, my obstinacy played a role in my misfortunes in net but I don't think I was completely to blame. It's that darn arrow.

• Being obstinate: McLean 1.0 played the entire regular season and the playoffs steadfast in the belief that it was his teammates' responsibility to clear out rebounds or to at least tie up opposing players in front. This led to McLean challenging the shooter, taking an extra step forward when he would have been better served taking a step back. Taking that step forward left McLean vulnerable to lateral passes and rebounds.
  
• That darn arrow: squaring yourself perfectly against the puck is good when the shooter is straight out in front, but doing so at an angle other than perpendicular meant McLean 1.0 (and short-lived 2.0) played too much over on the short side.
  

Some other tactics I've learned that have helped McLean 3.0:

• You don't need to completely follow the shooter or pass when it moves laterally in front of the net -- if you do it's often easy for McLean to move too far and leave the open side uncovered. Instead, center yourself in the net. You have a shorter distance to move and you can still cover both sides of the net.
• When a winger comes down the boards keep the short side covered but moving too much over will leave a gap on the far side (cheat a little and don't completely center yourself on the arrow).
  
• Poke-check whenever they skate out from behind the goal line (and they're in range, of course). It will more often than not save you heartache.
• Some computer-controlled goalies (eg. Luongo) move far beyond the crease when challenging the point even with the opposing team already set-up in the zone, and can still make it back in position if they pass rather than shoot. Slowpoke McLean is better off deeper in net than out too far.
• Learn to at least accept good shots, bad goals, turn-overs, and malfunctioning D-men, if not your own D scoring on you.