The (Totally) Phantom Menace

:o)



Found on "One Cool Thing a Day".

Darth Vader Meets Volkswagen

This has to be one of the funniest commercials I've ever seen.

Star Wars Blue-Ray Announced

Good news, bad news from /Film.  George Lucas announced all six Star Wars movies will be released in a blue-ray box set in Fall 2011.

My first thought:  No way in heck am I going to spend my money on the prequels, even if they are bundled with the original trilogy.  If I'm willing to wait for The Matrix to come out on blue-ray by itself and not bundled in a trilogy, I can wait for the original Star Wars movies. 

My second thought:  I still won't spend my money on anything except the original theatrical releases of Episodes IV - VI.  No special editions.  Heck, I'd even buy unremastered, VCR-quality original versions on blue-ray. No extras required.

Hear that, Mr. Lucas?  I bet you'd make even more wads of cash if you release the original theatrical release versions, too.  I'm patient.  I'm hoping your plan is to make all the money you can with selling the prequels and special editions before offering the original release versions, and make even more gazillions.

Original Star Wars Trilogy Told in 2 Minutes using Lego

This stop-motion Lego animation is pretty impressive. It recaps the original (and best) Star Wars trilogy.

Video Review of Phantom Menace

/Film posted someone's 70-minute video review of the disappointing disaster that was the Phantom Menace. Whenever someone asks whether I like Star Wars (the topic doesn't really arise that often these days, but when it does...) I always have to qualify my positive response by saying I only like the original trilogy, and not the prequels. Well, the creator of this video review of feels the same way and offers some salient reasons as to why Episode I is so terrible.

Quite well done, actually. The review is divided into seven parts. Warning for mild profanity.

Part 1/7


Part 2/7


Part 3/7


Part 4/7


Part 5/7


Part 6/7


Part 7/7

Star Wars: Clone Wars

I think of myself as a fairly big fan of the original Star Wars trilogy, so I had been looking forward to the animated movie and television series that was being produced. That changed as soon as I started seeing promotion clips.

First, I very much dislike Anakin Skywalker. Darth Vader, good. Anakin, bad. I suspect that George Lucas wanted people to sympathize with Anakin and his transformation-redemption bit. All I wanted was Anakin to die. Quickly. ASAP. Die in Episode I; who cares if it would screw up Star Wars continuity. Die, Anakin... die.

All this to say I was very disappointed to discover that the recent movie and current television cartoon takes place in the time between Episodes II and III. Ugh. Even worse, Anakin appears to be the main character, along with a new-to-the-mythology padawan perky enough to make me ill.

If Lucas wants to fill in the gaps, he should have made the series take place between Episodes III and IV. I want to see the original trilogy characters before the trilogy. Truthfully, I'd love to see more Han Solo, others not so much. Hey, they could get Shia LeBeouff to play a young Solo; LeBeouff's already played Indiana Jones' son.

Anywhoo, to cut this short I didn't see the Clone Wars animated movie and I have no intention of watching the television cartoon... except for tonight when while channel surfing I caught the last 20 minutes on an episode.

My worst fears were realized (see 2nd paragraph)... double ugh. The character animation style... triple ugh. Story... quadruple ugh. They turned General Grievous into a stereotypical comedic enemy. Dialogue... quintuple ugh. Awkward and forced. Pacing... sextuple ugh. Too slow. Voice acting... septuple ugh. It sounded flat.

As I said I only caught the last 20 minutes of a single episode... nevertheless nothing I saw makes me want to watch it again.

Luke Skywalker is a wimp

Luke Skywalker is a wimp. Relatively speaking.

Let's see, in Return of the Jedi Luke Skywalker was defeated by Emperor Palpatine. Only via Anakin Skywalker's intervention was Luke saved and the Emperor killed.

Now we have Star Wars: Force Unleashed for the Nintendo Wii -- MAJOR SPOILERS MAY FOLLOW -- with the main character Starkiller.

Starkiller, if you complete the game, ends up defeating both Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine in turn. See that? That's how it's done, Luke.

Oh yeah, speaking of the game, what's with the extreme don't kill the Emperor, Palpatine is already defeated moronicity. Starkiller won't kill Palpatine because even though he's just killed hundreds of stormtroopers on his way there, executing Palpatine would be wrong. What's up with that?

What were they planning on doing?! We'll let the defeated Palpatine live as we escape the Death Star, so that we can officially form the Rebel Alliance who's prime directive is to oppose the Galactic Empire led by... Palpatine.... Eh?

Star Wars: Force Unleashed

I was really looking forward to Star Wars: Force Unleashed for the Nintendo Wii. What could be better than the Wii's motion sensor controls combined with swinging a lightsaber? Perhaps my expectations were too high but nevertheless Force Unleashed failed to meet them. Don't misunderstand. I'm glad I purchased this game. It's just that Force Unleashed could have been so much more.

Force Unleashed takes place in the period between Episodes III and IV. You play as Darth Vader's apprentice ordered to hunt down Jedi. Faces from the movies show up in parts, which is kind of neat.

When I think of Star Wars I think of epics and inherent in that is time, as in the passing of. My major gripe with Force Unleashed is that it's disappointingly short. Wonderful, engaging story. But too beeping short. I finished it in less than eight hours. Maybe I've been spoiled with the classics, Twilight Princess (72 hours) and Okami (60 hours). Stars and stones, even Lego Star Wars was 25 hours.

Another problem with Force Unleashed is the graphics. I didn't buy a Wii expecting PS3 graphics, but I do expect the absence of jagged straight lines.

Gameplay is fine. There's nothing quite like swinging a lightsaber around or throwing stormtroopers around using the Force. Still, some of the different Force techniques are difficult to execute. I'd wave the remote/nunchuk around and press buttons as instructed but success felt haphazard and random. I ended up using only two Force powers regularly (Force Push and Lightning) because they were the most efficient powers I could use confidently. Perhaps I just need practice with the others techniques.

The Star Wars franchise lends a mystique to any game it places its name on. Star Wars gets bonus points just for being Star Wars. Still, if Force Unleashed instead of occurring in the Star Wars universe was a sword and sorcery deal I'm not so sure I'd have bought the game. Despite the multiple Force powers minion and boss battles are very simplistic. It's pretty much hack'n slash with Force powers thrown in. Bosses have no weaknesses to look for. Rush up to the boss, swing your lightsaber and wait for the finishing sequence (where you wave the remote/nunchuk when prompted to deal significant damage).

Finishing sequences bring up another quibble. In order to get the timing right, it was difficult for me to concentrate on what was happening on the screen. I'd concentrate on looking at the remote/nunchuk prompts and miss out on the actual action on screen.

Another thing that makes battles, especially long ones, a little boring is the way the game designers worked out death. Actually, I'm of two minds of how they implemented it. If Starkiller (your character) dies you simply respawn with no significant consequences, except for a boss regaining only a slight portion of health. Minions you've killed stay dead, areas you've cleared are still completed. Starkiller can die as many times as you want.

Why am I of two minds? First, I'm glad the designers handled death the way they did because as I said fights are hack'n slash. Bosses have no vulnerabilities to look for, so I sometimes needed multiple respawns to get by a boss. If I had had to defeat some bosses with one life, starting completely over if I respawned, then it would have become irritatingly frustrating. Second, I lost my fear of Starkiller dieing. Dead? Who cares? Getting shot from behind? I don't care. Health bar almost empty? Heh, instead of looking for healing I'll just go ahead and charge that platoon of stormtroopers.

Although I've talked about a lot of negatives in Force Unleashed, as I said before I'm glad I bought this game. It's Star Wars. I get to swing a lightsaber. It has a great (albeit short) story. If you're a Star Wars fan, definitely buy it. If not, you might consider giving this one a pass.

Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga

When I was debating whether or not to buy a game console, the chance to play Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga was a significant plus. After finishing Twilight Princess I immediately plunged into Lego Star Wars, and after 20-25 hours of playing time I completed the story portion of the game. If I was motivated, trying to complete the game in free play mode would extend playing time considerably.

It's fun. Easier than I expected due to limitless lives, but over all pretty good. Seeing Chewbacca rip the arms off a stormtrooper for the first time was hilarious. Wha-- did Chewie do what I think he did?! Stomping on 'troopers with an AT-ST is pretty fun, too. :o) The puzzles are for the most part modest, though there were a few that were a pain because I had no idea what to do in order to move on (Hint: on Hoth, straight south and use a mine).

When I try to come up with a comparison all I can think of is Mario in space, and as I've never touched a Mario game take it for what it's worth.

My Mario ignorance may soon be over. After I start and finish Resident Evil 4 (assuming game play doesn't make me dizzy) it's either Mario Kart (assuming I can find a copy) or Okami (which has also received rave reviews). Heck, I'll most likely end up buying both; it's just a question of in which order.

Art of the Saber

Links to these videos were posted at a forum I frequent. I think they're both great, for different reasons, so I had to post them here.

Art of the Saber


Lightsaber Accident


I think the introduction to Art of the Saber is a little dragged out, and the sticking the lightsaber in the ground too over done, but all in all an impressive fan video.

Lightsaber Accident is just hilarious. :o)

Star Wars - COPS Parody

I was watching bonus material from one of my Star Wars DVDs, and came across this gem. It's a parody of Star Wars and COPS.

Originally Released: 1997

Story:
While being filmed for the hit Imperial TV show TROOPS, Stormtroopers from the infamous Black Sheep Squadron on patrol run into some very familiar characters.

Another Movie Moment

Another of my movie moments occurs in Episode IV, Star Wars: A New Hope. When I think about Star Wars, I prefer to think only about the original trilogy (Episodes IV - VI) and in their original theatrical releases. In the case of Episode IV, that was back in 1977.

Anywhoo, this movie moment is basically unchanged in all of its reiterations, so please excuse my minor rant.

The award ceremony where Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Luke Skywalker walk up to the stage, the triumphant music, the rebels turning and stomping in unison, the cheering, they all fit together to make the movie's final scene one of my Movie Moments.