Who writes this stuff?

Tonight I was watching a local news channel (WUSA9.com) and one of the anchors, Tracey Neale, reported on a story that completely blew me away--and not in a good way. It wasn't the story itself but how Tracey Neale said it and what she said that's making me vent.

Neale previews the upcoming news bit by saying "a thief doesn't get his way" after the commercial break (I'm paraphrasing, here).

Go to commercial.

Back to T. Neale: "Channel 9 reported previously on a charity that had sold used wedding dresses donated by cancer survivors/victims--with proceeds going to said charity. Unfortunately, the proceeds were stolen by a thief. In response to Channel 9's report, local bridal shops donated wedding dresses so more money could be raised."

First let me say that Neale's delivery was so... stilted with... long silent... pauses in... the middle... of sentences... pausing... after every... three to... four... words... was extremely... painful... for... me to... listen to. Enough... said....

Here's the kicker--T. Neale ends the story by saying something like, "due to the shops' generosity the thief's intentions were foiled". What the heck is Neale saying?! The thief is still at large with the money--how exactly were his/her intentions foiled? Oh, I see... the thief didn't *really* want the money, the thief just has some sort of vendetta against the charity. Or hates weddings. And dresses. And don't forget the colour white.

All possible, I guess, but I'm still betting on the money.

This forced and inappropriate slant--and Neale's horrid delivery--turned what was a typical feel-good story (generosity of shops) in to one of the worst reports I've ever had the misfortune to listen to. Whoever wrote this terrible piece should be drawn and quartered. Who writes this stuff, and where was the editor?